Poems from His Deployment: Part One

I am going to share something deeply personal.  This is something I have never shared.  While many write poetry, especially in the blogging world, I have never really shared that I do to.  What more, I have never shared those that I wrote while my husband was deployed.

These deeply personal poems were written, then stashed away to be forgotten among the random bits of paper in my house.  I read them today, for the first time since he came home... I was amazed at how fresh the pain felt.  I was shocked that, even back then, I could tell that something wasn't right.  

I am going to share one of them every Friday for a while... 

***

I heard from my husband today

short bursts of conversation

tid bits of his day 

and mine.

we can not talk like we used to.

His day so full of uncertainty

Never knowing what is coming next

I do not wish to know the perils of his job.

He does not relate to the mundaneness of mine.

We are trapped in a cycle of apathy.

We can no longer understand the routine

of each others lives.

We no longer pass gossip as if if was cooly folded laundry

ready to be put away

We can no longer relate 

Will our ability to communicate return 

upon his arrival home?

Will we easy back into a pattern of banter 

as easily as he will ease back 

into the cushions of his favorite chair?

I dread the passage of time between arrival and familiarity